2008 Olympic observations

Well, the Olympics in Beijing are a week old, with another week to go. It’s an exciting time for athletes and their families, friends, and fans. For some of us, it’s sort of strange.

Frankly, I don’t understand why beach volleyball, synchronized diving, equestrian events, sailing, cycling BMX, canoeing/kayaking, and shooting are Olympic sports, and I use the word “sports” loosely. Did you know that shooting events in the past consisted of Olympic athletes shooting pigeons?

I don’t get it. Getting your horse to do what YOU want it to do on the course doesn’t really seem very sporty to me. And these riders get all upset when they (the horse, actually) hit an obstacle; how do you think the horse feels, getting whacked in the shin countless times during training? I’d learn how to clear those hurdles fairly fast if I had to take a hit every time I missed. I’d much rather see the riders carrying extra weight, run through the course, and jumping the hurdles themselves; minus the extra weight though, there is the steeplechase in track. Funny, but many people hear “steeplechase” and think horses . . .

Horse sports such as chariot and riding races were once part of the early Olympic games. What’s wrong with a good rodeo? Shouldn’t these horse events just be part of a good rodeo? Give those riders some money, a year’s supply of horse feed, and a new belt buckle and be done with it. Or how about Churchill Downs for some sprints? A Mint Julep, a bucket of oats from Whole Foods, and a hoof pedicure should do it.

Beach volleyball should require just cold drinks, suntan lotion, and skimpy suits. Sailing? more suntan lotion and a good martini at the end of the day. BMX cycling? Back to the X Games on ESPN. Kayaking? Kayaking? Synchronized diving should be a Guinness World Record type of thing; kinda reminds me of cheerleader competitions and ribbon gymnastics, or whatever that’s called.