telephone stuff

Can someone explain to me why the phone company charges $5 per month to keep your name OUT of the phonebook? I don’t get this at all, and you could explain this to me a thousand times, and I still won’t get it. I promise.

Cell phones are such a pain. I refuse to wear one of those holders that attach to your belt. I keep my phone in my pocket. Consequently, many times when I bend over to pick something up, or tie my shoes, the camera button is triggered and I can hear the ‘click’, knowing that I’ve just taken a picture of the inside of my pocket.

They are great pictures, each one an exact duplicate of the others. Pitch black. Here’s one of the pictures -

I also don’t care to learn how to remove them from the phone’s “My Pics” section, so I turn the phone over to a 24 year old tech-savvy guy who works for me, and he deletes them for me every once in a while. He says my records for stored ‘photos’ is 94.

When I picked this phone out at the phone store (what a concept), I asked the clerk if I could get a phone without a camera. He seemed stunned, then composed himself and told me no. He must have thought I was crazy; who doesn’t want a camera on their phone? I don’t want a phone on my camera either.

red, yellow, blue, again

I’ve been carrying around my trusty camera more often since I missed the future Olympian/auto assembly line worker (see 08-22-08 post), and spotted this sculpture in Slater Park in Pawtucket, RI.

I’m sure some committee thought this was fantastic and colorful, but the truth is that it’s boring and faded. If a real artist designed this and submitted it, then got it approved and installed it, more power to him/her. Congratulations and I hope you got paid for it, if only to allow you to continue making art and improving your portfolio. But it really looks like it was thrown together by park maintenance employees using spare metal connectors and painted 4×4’s that were collecting dust in the back of a shed.

This scenario reminds me of one of my favorite museum visitor quotes – “I could do that.”

Here’s an album I picked up a few weeks ago at a yard sale.

I don’t really care about the music, but I loved the cover art and picked it up. Please note the RYB and the SECONDARY colors (purple, orange, green = POG) as well! It doesn’t get much better than this. Also note the RYB and the POG ribbons framing the musicians. I think I’ll frame this one and keep it in my studio, a reminder of what can be done with the basic colors, and also as a reminder not to fall into that art trap. Maybe I’ll make some RYB art anyway. Maybe I have. I’ll have to check.

red, yellow, blue – the Pet Peeve

I find it insulting that costumers and set designers for television shows, movies, and advertisements (both television and print) need to dress characters in red, yellow, and blue clothes; or use red, yellow, or blue cars in a scene; or a red car, a character in a blue shirt, both in front of a business storefront that is basically yellow; or any combination you can think of. This might take some explaining, so bear with me. I’ll abbreviate the red, yellow, blue to RYB to shorten this post.

I understand that these three colors are important, the PRIMARY colors. I get that part. But pay attention when you are out and about and see if you can find a naturally occurring (really, random, or by chance) group of people or objects that are in RYB mode. Go to a place where’s there’s a crowd and see how long it takes you to spot a RYB situation (see combinations above).

But if you watch televison, particularly a sitcom, it happens in almost every scene. I just can’t watch television anymore because of this. Are viewers thought to have such a short attention span that they can’t follow the story unless jolted back to watching by the RYB trifecta? Is this something that’s hardwired in our genetic makeup that we can only pay attention if these three colors are present? Watch the vapid “Two and a Half Men” for a half hour and you’ll be amazed that so many characters have a wardrobe with such a narrow color selection. This show uses the yellow kitchen wall as a backdrop and the main characters are, more often than not, wearing some garish blue and/or red shirt. I find it hard to believe that anyone would have so many clothes that are RYB, and tacky to boot. Check out this scene -

Who would wear such a bright yellow sweatshirt? I guess if you were at DisneyWorld and bought a souvenir shirt with Goofy on the front and it was bright yellow, well, that might be acceptable for that day at that amusement park. Watch some other successful sitcoms (“Friends” comes to mind) and you’ll see more than enough of this color scheme.

There’s a scene in one of the Governator’s “Terminator” movies (sorry, can’t tell them apart) where Ahnold and a couple of people he’s saving are planning their next move at a campground, in front of a bright yellow tent with both red and blue chairs next to it.

I was thoroughly enjoying a 1986 episode of “Amazing Stories” entitled “Secret Cinema” with the great Paul Bartell and his muse, Mary Woronov, until the character Paul Bartell was playing appeared in a bright yellow shirt and blue jacket with a red hanky in the breast pocket. Ruined the whole thing for me.

An important point on this topic is that, while these three colors can appear in a situation randomly, they just don’t appear with the same regularity that television, movies, and advertisements throw at us. They all should learn a lesson from “Monk” that you don’t have to wear absurdly bright colors to be on television.

More on this later. It’s one of my favorite pet peeves. Pay attention, you’ll notice it. And I hope I don’t ruin anything for you. . .