Idling in Connecticut

I found this sign at a rest stop while driving through Connecticut. I thought it was a bit strange, as I can’t imagine any state police officer driving by and taking a stopwatch to your car, especially as their own vehicle is idling. (They are probably covered under (b)(3)(C)(iii).) I was just going to post the photo of the sign, but thought I’d better include the regulations in case you are ever idling your vehicle in CT. Now you’ll have no excuses; if stopped in CT for excessive idling, just pull out your laptop with wireless connection, get to this blog, and you’ll have all the answers and excuses you’ll need to avoid a citation. Good luck.

This document contains the Connecticut regulations for the abatement of air pollution with the recently adopted revisions to the regulations that became effective April, 1, 2004.
Section 22a-174-18. Control of particulate matter and visible emissions.
(b) Visible emission standards.
(3) Mobile sources. Except as provided in subsection (j) of this section, no person shall cause or allow:
(C) A mobile source to operate for more than three (3) consecutive minutes when such mobile source is not in motion, except as follows:
(i) When a mobile source is forced to remain motionless because of traffic conditions or mechanical difficulties over which the operator has no control,
(ii) When it is necessary to operate defrosting, heating or cooling equipment to ensure the safety or health of the driver or passengers,
(iii) When it is necessary to operate auxiliary equipment that is located in or on the mobile source to accomplish the intended use of the mobile source,
(iv) To bring the mobile source to the manufacturer’s recommended operating temperature,
(v) When the outdoor temperature is below twenty degrees fahrenheit (20 degrees F),
(vi) When the mobile source is undergoing maintenance that requires such mobile source be operated for more than three (3) consecutive minutes, or
(vii) When a mobile source is in queue to be inspected by U.S. military
personnel prior to gaining access to a U.S. military installation.

Be informed!

gilmark

Flying Pigs

I spotted this sign on the back end of a car several weeks ago. The car was also adorned with a rather garish flying pig hood ornament.

According to Wikipedia, the know-all, end-all electronic Encyclopedia for the ages, here’s an explanation for pigs flying -

A flying pig is a symbol of an impossible event coming to pass. The popular saying “[it will happen] when pigs fly” (or when pigs have wings) is traditionally used to mean that the specified event will never occur.

Although there are several opinions about the origin of the saying, in Cincinnati, the story is that when the hogs were delivered from one side of the river to the slaughter house on the other side, they were loaded on flat top barges. As they stood on the barges and moved across the river, the early morning fog would often rise off the water and cover the barge bottom. The only thing that could be seen were the pigs “floating” above the water. This gave the appearance, according to the locals, that the pigs were “flying” across the river. This is the reason that so many “flying pig” items can be found in the airport and in other gift shops around Cincinnati.

I can’t guess what this all meant to the car’s owner, but it must have been very important.
And good for you, Cincinnati.
Just fodder for your mind.

gilmark

I don’t know what to say

OK, I ran across this photo on the Internet while researching the Going Green phenomenon.

I have several comments and questions -

WHY?

Is this dog still alive? Do you remember reading about Buddy Ebson, who became terribly sick during the beginning of filming of “Wizard of Oz”? That silver makeup they lathered him up with to look like the Tin Man forced him to withdraw from the project.  And remember when the movie “Goldfinger” hit the theaters, and the famous movie poster of the woman painted gold? There were about a zillion rumors flying around that she had died because every pore of her body was clogged with paint, causing her skin to cease “breathing”.

What is that woman in the photo doing? Is she the proud owner of the dog? The colorist admiring her work? Is she taking a final look before being carted away in handcuffs for animal abuse?

I had a dog back in the early 80’s who slid her belly through some mud (deep brown) to cool off, caught a squirrel and killed it, getting (red) blood all over her snout and head, then rolled, on her back,  in some fresh cow manure (green). She was quite a site, I wish I had a picture of her. At least these colors washed off of her quickly. I’m thinking this poor poodle looked like that for a good month, at least.

Are dogs color blind? Dogs do have some color vision but not as much as humans. Dogs have a particular form of colorblindness called deuteranopia. They can see gray, violet blue, and colors in the yellow-green genre. do you think this dog is conscious of the silliness of all this green largese? Self esteem issues??

gilmark

saving energy and language abuse

I was trolling through eBay looking for some household stuff and ran across a listing for some Farberware with this description -

The skillet is stainless steel with an aluminum bottom that helps to spread heat quickly and evenly. What this mean is the bottom is completely aluminuim clad which causes the pan to heat up quickly and evenly so you can turn down the knob and SAVE ENERGY.

This seller needs to learn how to save words, which will save energy.  What this means is that if the seller chose his/her words more carefully, it wouldn’t have taken as much energy, and he or she could have concentrated on learning how to write, which would have saved energy. After all, writing more efficiently would save words, and energy.

Remember, skiing in Nebraska is redundant.

gilmark

baseball and uniforms

I’d like to poll the readers (all five or you) about something I’ve thought about for years. It has to do with baseball.

Baseball is the only sport in which the manager and coaches of the team wear the same uniform as the players. With the exception of Connie Mack and Burt Shotton way back when, this hasn’t changed at all, and probably won’t.  One reason may be that baseball could be the only sport where the manager and coaches are allowed onto the field of play.

Typically the managers and coaches are much older than the players, and certainly not in the same physical condition. Sometimes they are in the 60-70 age group, overweight and gimping around from an old injury. Sometimes they are in their 50-60 age group, overweight and gimping around from an old injury. You get the picture.

This practice has roots in baseball going back to the 19th century, when a player/coach could insert himself into the lineup whenever he wanted, and didn’t have to change clothes in the middle of the game. He started the game as manager, ready to play whenever he thought he could do a better job than any of the players on the field. The last player/manager I can remember was Pete Rose at the end of his career with the Cincinnati Reds, 1984-86.

I shouldn’t complain too much about this, as I am so used to it that it really doesn’t bother me when I’m watching a game. It’s still a strange practice, and I just laugh and imagine what other sports would look like if coaches wore the same clothing as the players. Imagine a swim coach, way past his/her swimming prime, wearing a racing suit; a football coach in pads and a helmet; or a gangly, 6′7″, overweight basketball coach in shorts and a tanktop.

gilmark

gravity

I have figured out how gravity works. The key components are weather and newspaper delivery. After extensive research and advanced mathematical formulas which are difficult to reproduce, and of course, now copyrighted, here is my theory . . .

newspaper atop the Trylon at 1939-40 New York World

When the weather is sunny, warm, pleasant, clear, or otherwise perfect, any newspaper delivery guy can toss a paper out of his car and it stops falling, landing on top of a mailbox, on top of a rock, or in a tree. Somehow it just never gravitates to the ground, where it should end up, given the generally accepted theory of gravity postulated by Sir Isaac Newton. Gravity just does not work with newspapers on such beautiful days.

In my research, I found an obscure reference about a newspaper perched on top of the Trylon at the 1939-40 New York World’s Fair. And that structure was approximately 700 feet tall!

Note that it was an incredibly clear day. I used Photoshop to enlarge the newspaper, because it was just a speck in the picture. Trust me, this is an actual photo.

When it’s raining, or during a heavy snowfall, Newton’s theory is good, but slightly flawed. A newspaper thrown from a moving vehicle on a bad weather day actually takes Newton’s theory one step further. It actually gravitates to the deepest depression in the vicinity, sucked down towards the earth’s center, seemingly trying to get to the core. Furthermore, it absorbs water at a rate 60-80 times its weight. (That’s the next research project.) Here’s an example -

newspaper in a puddle

My research began over 20 years ago, when I first tried to dry out a soaked Sunday edition of the NY Times. I’m not sure how long Newton took to formulate his theory, but he has received far more credit than he deserved.

gilmark

today is not going well

After waking up this morning, I groggily walked into a door. Getting in the car to go to work, I managed to bump, more like smash, my head on the door frame. At work, I really banged my head on a steel beam. Came home from work hungry for lunch, got something out the refrigerator, stood up and banged my head on the top freezer door.

I was going to get the ladder out and work on the house, but there’s a message here for me, and I now have on my bike helmet and I have just taken a break from reading on the couch. I think I’ll stay there, maybe watch a movie for a change of pace. I might take it off for a shower later on today, but I’m not so sure about that.

red, yellow, blue, again

I’ve been carrying around my trusty camera more often since I missed the future Olympian/auto assembly line worker (see 08-22-08 post), and spotted this sculpture in Slater Park in Pawtucket, RI.

I’m sure some committee thought this was fantastic and colorful, but the truth is that it’s boring and faded. If a real artist designed this and submitted it, then got it approved and installed it, more power to him/her. Congratulations and I hope you got paid for it, if only to allow you to continue making art and improving your portfolio. But it really looks like it was thrown together by park maintenance employees using spare metal connectors and painted 4×4’s that were collecting dust in the back of a shed.

This scenario reminds me of one of my favorite museum visitor quotes – “I could do that.”

Here’s an album I picked up a few weeks ago at a yard sale.

I don’t really care about the music, but I loved the cover art and picked it up. Please note the RYB and the SECONDARY colors (purple, orange, green = POG) as well! It doesn’t get much better than this. Also note the RYB and the POG ribbons framing the musicians. I think I’ll frame this one and keep it in my studio, a reminder of what can be done with the basic colors, and also as a reminder not to fall into that art trap. Maybe I’ll make some RYB art anyway. Maybe I have. I’ll have to check.

more random thoughts

I just read that John McCain was filmed mouthing/mumbling “horseshit” to himself twice during the first presidential candidate’s ‘debate”. I don’t really consider these encounters to be a real debate, just a couple of really smart people who are extremely adept at NOT answering any question directly.

I am amazed that there are so many people in our country that are falling for this Sarah Palin farce and find acceptable her selection by McCain to be his Vice Presidential running mate. It’s embarrassing. What are her qualifications? COLDEST STATE, HOTTEST GOVERNOR? Is that it? Well, maybe it is. After all, Ronald Reagan was elected President, and many Europeans are still snickering.

I was trying to figure out when breakdancing started, and the earliest reference I could come up with was Curly of the Three Stooges. Remember when he was on the floor spinning in circles and doing the seal flop thing? He was doing his thing in the early 30s.

And then there’s the high-five ‘handshake”. Louis Armstrong and Dean Martin were singing a medley on one of the Dean Martin shows, and at the end did some awkward hand movements that resembled a primitive high-five. I remembered the music, but not the high-five until I saw one of those half hour infomercials on TV selling CDs of the Dean Martin show. Not Available In Stores!

Earliest rap singer? I’m going to do some research on Jack Benny and Groucho Marx.

irrational fears

#1- dropping my keys through a sewer grate, into the sewer, never seeing them again; I give myself about six feet of clearance and walk around them.

#2 – driving behind a Jerr-Dan flat bed tow truck, with the angled ramp at the tail end, only to have it stop suddenly and I can’t, turning my car into a convertible; I usually slow down and let another car get in between.

#3 – opening the door to the dishwasher, pulling the  rack out to air dry the dishes, and falling on the knives in the utensil tray; I should put the knives point down, but I just can’t do it.

#4 – another driving fear – following an auto transport tractor trailer on the highway, then the ramps are extended and drag behind the trailer, I drive onto the ramps, speed up in a panic, then go up and over the trailer and fly off in front of the tractor; I try to pass them, or see #2.